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Wednesday, January 10, 2018

Sexual Misconduct - "Times Up"

The "Me Too" movement has changed the way women are viewed in the workplace.
Some people might be getting tired of hearing all the accusations of sexual misconduct that is currently being railed against men in high places. The sad fact is that these men are everywhere. They are school teachers, bus drivers, CPA’s, lawyers, and business men who all have spotless reputations. Why are their reputations spotless? Because the women they harassed, molested, or raped never came forward. These women never told anyone because they were ashamed. Ashamed of what happened to them because they blamed themselves. They blamed themselves because that is what society told them to do. Women were to blame for men’s sexual misconduct. How ridiculous is that?


Thankfully things are beginning to change. Just because a woman dresses a certain way or acts a certain way, doesn’t mean that she is “asking for it”. I heard that a lot when I was young. “Well, she was asking for it.” Who in the hell came up with that?  When would a woman asked to be harassed, molested, or raped?  Never!

We have to make changes for our children's sake.


Thousands of these men will never be accused because they aren’t in the spotlight. These men have become husbands and fathers. They are now in a position where they have to protect their wives and daughters. I wonder how they feel about sexual misconduct now and do they regret their actions in years past?


I have to admit that I was hurt when the Minnesota Senator was accused. I believed the accuser; it’s his fall from grace that hurts. I thought he was a great guy. I used to watch him on Saturday Night Live doing his Stuart Smalley skits. He seemed so sweet and kind; yes, I know it was an act. I guess I thought the real guy was somewhat like Stuart. I was wrong. It’s disappointing when you look up to someone, admire them, and believe in them. Any bad behavior, like sexual misconduct, from this person would be the last thing you would ever think of. Then the shoe drops.

I haven't been surprised by some of the other Hollywood elite that have been accused. The women who were trying to make their way in Hollywood dealt with horrible decisions. I can’t imagine having to sleep with a boss to get a job. That’s not only disgusting, it’s immoral. How many good actresses quit acting and went home because of these slime balls? I had dreams of being an actress when I was young but who didn’t?  I ended up going into banking and finance. I later found that sexual misconduct was rampant in the finance world.

I was excited to be living and working in Kansas City. Little did I know I would learn more than finance while I was there.


In 1984 I moved to Kansas City and got a job in a large bank. It was a trust department where one wall was lined with offices filled with men (they were the bosses) and seated at rows and rows of desks throughout the large room were the women workers. I became one of those workers and was excited about my new job. I was making new friends and enjoying being a city girl for once. However, I quickly learned that sexual misconduct was the norm and the women tolerated it. I wanted to fit in, so I did too.

The male managers would come out and make all kinds of remarks about the way women were dressed, some would even ask us how our sex life was! One manager in particular was old enough to be my father. He would come up behind me, lean over my shoulder, and tell me how he wanted to bite my neck. I was young and naive, and didn’t want to make waves. I wasn’t sure how to deal with this, so I laughed it off. I would tell him to stop in a friendly tone but it was never long before he was back again. This went on for four years. I was lucky to finally get out of that “sweat shop”, as I called it.

I transferred to the trust tax department where I was working for a woman. I was much more comfortable working in that department but there were male investment advisers there and one of them had an eye for me. Most of our interactions were harmless flirting. Looking back, I realize that some of it could have been classified as harassment.
Men may be in charge of big corporations but they aren't immune to falling from their towers.


As long as men are running the world, women will have to fight for their rights. We will have to work harder, speak louder, and most of all, support each other. Women have proved that there is nothing men can do that they can’t. Women can be cunning and manipulative like men as well. I worked for one of those women but that’s another article.  

We must stick together and support each other in our fight for respect.

We must stick together and stand up against sexual misconduct. This includes women who try to get by with it as well. Those women need to be reprimanded just like the men. The superb speech at the Golden Globe awards made by America's real first lady stated it perfectly “Times up!” we all need to stand firm on this and have zero tolerance for sexual misconduct  everywhere!

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